I am so sorry I didn't fall in love with you. I tried, oh how I tried. I did love you, I cared for you and I even ached for you. but more than that...I loved the thought of loving you. Never was a truly in love with you. And it even hurts to say this because I know it will break my heart in the sense that I am mentally losing my love for you.
It was false, How could I love you? We really don't know each other...but it is as if we do. we have shared something special, and you love me. I can not apologize enough, because I led you on, I led myself on. I let myself believe that I loved you....I really did believe. I am so sorry, because we were perfect in my mind. We needed nothing to make ourselves happy...but each other. And now I realize that it isn't real. My fantasies are JUST that...a fantasy. It hurts...because the residue of the "love" I had for you is so mocking. It mocks me because I gave you up.
Why must the heart and the mind be so contradicting? Why can't I like someone enough to be in love with them...he is so perfect for me, and now why am I not in love with him? Mysteries are frustrating. Love is confusing. And Life is just waiting for us to try and figure it all out.
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